im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
