how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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