you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize