I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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