Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
