if i can run in heels then i can drive
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
