honey bunches of taint.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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