Where did you get a picture of my penis
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
