Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Randomize
