Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
