So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
