She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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