clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
