I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
