Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
