wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
