I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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