I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
