U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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