after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
