So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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