how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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