Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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