Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
