This is not my ceiling
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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