Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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