it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
