I wish life had little blips of pornography
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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