sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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