I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
