i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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