i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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