let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
