I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
