you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
