Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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