we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
