if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
