you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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