They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am mentally ready for anal.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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