I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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