I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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