when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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