Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
