I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
