So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
