No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
