five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize