I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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