Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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