people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
