just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
