Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
