this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize