I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
