Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
