It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
