Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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