i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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