I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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