Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
