i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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