I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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